


Kitten Kaboodle

by hilariousandunappreciated



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pets, So here we are, but he loves them too much, dan and phil get a kitten, i guess, phil is allergic to cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:57:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15396243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilariousandunappreciated/pseuds/hilariousandunappreciated
Summary: Phil is definitely hiding something from Dan, but will his current state give him away?





	Kitten Kaboodle

**Author's Note:**

> written for @phanficsanonymous via [this prompt](https://phanficsanonymous.tumblr.com/post/176039302415/prompt-why-has-phil-been-sneezing-so-much-could)  
> I felt like writing a prompt for the first time, so here we are :)

     Phil swiped his nose once again, doing his best to hide his face and the fact that every minute he felt his throat constrict more and more and his sinuses completely block. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't resist. He just ran into her while walking home. And she looked so lonely and sad, he couldn't help but want to take her home.

   “Phil?”

Phil jumped in his skin at the sound of Dan calling him and quickly stood in front of the closet door, swiping at his nose once again to hide his allergies. He had hoped that Dan wouldn't get home so soon; he would've had more time to...think about what he was going to do. Phil wished he knew what exactly he _was_ doing.

    “Phil? Are you in there?” Dan's knuckles brushed against the door in a tentative knock.

Phil sniffled and cleared his swollen throat to the best of his ability.

    “Yeah, I'm right,” Phil's vocal cords itched, “I'm right here.”

    Phil double checked the closet door to make sure it was shut securely as he heard the knob turn and Dan sweep the bedroom door open. Goosebumps decorated his arms in anticipation. He knew he wasn't a good liar. What would he tell Dan? Phil blinked to will the worry away, and looked up to see Dan strolling in, puzzled expression knitting his eyebrows. Dan glanced over to Phil,

    “Hey, have you seen my charger?”

Phil swallowed, calm as he could. _Don't say anything stupid or he'll find out_.

    “Phone or laptop?”

Dan took a step closer,

     “Laptop. I _know_ I set it down somewhere. It's probably right in front of my--” Dan was interrupted by a rather wet and loud sneeze. Phil really tried, but the allergic reaction only spread and it was just too difficult to hide his bloodshot eyes and now rosy nose. Dan inched closer, concern riddling his eyes and forehead.

    “Phil? Are you alright?”

Phil sniffled once again, turning his face away to avoid Dan's worried gaze. Yeah, he was fine. He could drag this out for at least a little while longer. Dan didn't need to know.

    “ _sniff_ yeah, I'm _sniff_ fine.”

Dan's hand found its way to Phil's shoulder,

    “You don't _look_ fine, why are your eyes so red? And you're sniffling so much? Did you get sick?”

Phil shook his head, whatever Dan said he was going to deny it,

    “No! No, I just _sniffle_ went for a walk and,” he blinked as his dry, irritated eyes began to water, “I guess there was just stuff blowing around, you know how it is.” Phil sneezed just as he finished the sentence.

Dan crossed his arms. He looked skeptical, but decided to let it go nevertheless.

    “Okay, but at least make sure to take some allergy medicine,” he set a hand on Phil's barely stubbled cheek, “it looks awful.”

Phil rolled his eyes,

    “Oh well _thanks_ Dan,” and a little giggle came through the words before another sneeze could interrupt. Dan playfully pushed Phil's arm with one hand,

    “Pff, you know what I mean.”

     Dan turned to the side, walking around the bed to look under it, still on a search for his laptop charger. Phil could hear various “hmmfs” and frustrated mumbles each place Dan looked and it wasn't there. He eventually stood and walked back toward Phil, who was still partially guarding the closet.

    “D’ya think I would've put it in the closet absentmindedly?” He shifted his feet, “seems like something I might do.”

Phil's mind immediately registered what that meant, panic rippling through his chest,

    “No!” he burst, extending his hands out as if to push Dan back. Dan scrunched his eyebrows,

     “Wha-”

_Jesus, Phil, say something!_

    “I- I mean, no, _sniff_ doesn't seem like a-” another sneeze interrupted Phil from continuing; he sniffed, “doesn't seem like a likely place.” His voice was more calm now, though the anxiety still rolled over in his stomach. He wiped at his watery eyes.

     Dan apparently found that to be a suitable answer.

    “Hm okay.”

 _Thank God._ When Phil looked back to Dan, he found an expectant expression.

    “Well,” Phil tried to clear his throat again, “last time I saw it was in the office _sniff_ so check there maybe?”

Dan nodded and turned to search elsewhere at Phil's suggestion. As soon as Phil couldn't hear Dan's footsteps anymore, he shut the bedroom door again, shielding himself from the risk of his little incident running around the apartment.

    A breath of relief shakily released from Phil. _Yes_ . He successfully hid his discovery from Dan: the _real_ reason why his allergies ran rampant. He successfully fooled Dan. _Wait, is that a thing I should be proud of?_ His hands pulled the closet door open and he searched the floor in the dark space. Then he spotted his little friend, lazily curled up in the corner of the closet, nose rested on her paws. Two pointy black ears stood straight up, wide green eyes blinking sleepily. Her coat was in splotches, black and orange and white splashed her face and sides, black tail curled next to her. Her whiskers twitched a little with each blink and her white paws rested peacefully underneath her. Phil's heart melted. How could he resist that little fuzzy face? Those whiskers and soft pink triangle nose? She was the most precious kitten he had ever seen.

    “There you are,” Phil whispered warmly, “I told you I'd be back soon.”

Phil reached his hand out slowly to stroke her head. Miniature purrs vibrated through her as soon as Phil pet her, and she stood to rub closer to him.

    “Awe you're purring? That's so cute!” Phil squeaked, “I'll be right back, okay? I'll come and get you later.”

But before he could get up, the kitten pushed her head back into Phil's palm, nuzzling into the touch. Phil had to giggle,

    “It's okay, I won't be gone long, I promise!”

    Phil stood and watched her as he slowly shut the door again, just as the calico flopped on her back, tummy exposed. Phil smiled to himself. He was weak to that kind of cuteness. No wonder he loved Dan, too. A warm, soft, cute thing. He sighed as his nose started running more profusely, sniffling and shaking his head as he headed to the door. _What mess have I gotten myself into?_

~~~

    Dan stretched his arms up and sighed. Phil had just turned off the camera and sat back down in the office chair. Dan was proud of himself for even keeping up today. He was exhausted, some sort of deep thoughts had kept him up last night and his eyes didn't shut until the time on his phone flashed 4:26am. He knew it wasn't healthy, but how else would he contemplate the universe if not at 4am?

     He felt like a nap was well overdue, and after filming a new gaming video, Dan justified a break as this seemed like enough for today. He turned to Phil, arms finally lowering back to his sides.

    “Hey, Phil?” He rubbed his fist into his lead heavy eyes.

The black office chair swiveled to face Dan fully.

    “Hmm?” Phil lazily replied.

    “I think I'm gonna go lie down,” Dan said, just as a yawn nagged at his jaw and he gave into it. He felt his whole frame weigh him down. Why did he think 4:26am was a bedtime?

Phil blinked back at him, registering the sentence rather slowly. Apparently Dan wasn't the only one who wasn't sleeping well.

    “Oh? Um, yeah okay,” Phil mumbled, all other thoughts dull in his mind, a little numb.

Maybe he should follow Dan.

    Dan stood, extending his arms up again in a lengthy stretch, breath releasing some of the tension in his shoulders. Phil followed his actions, pulling himself up from the office chair and sighing, legs feeling weighty and eyelashes dusted with sleepiness. His hand found the small of Dan's back as he guided him out of the gaming room, deciding to join him for a well-deserved rest.

     Dan reached the hallway and slipped into the moon room, kicking his grey slippers off and immediately shuffling his jeans down to collapse in bed in his t-shirt and black Calvin's. Phil walked in to find Dan curled up on his side of the mattress, nose nuzzled into the pillow and legs curled under him. Phil couldn't help but chuckle fondly. Phil didn't think many people could be cute while sleeping, but Dan was an exception. Seeing Dan curled into himself, soft and slow breaths lulling him further into sleep, brunet curls mussed atop his head, Phil thought he looked just like- _oh shit. What about the-_ Phil rushed to the closet and peeked in, seeing his new pet of sorts sleeping in the corner again. He sighed. She would be quiet for now. Phil left a crack in the door and walked back to the bed.

      Phil pulled the covers back and curled up behind Dan, slinging an arm around his waist and leaning in to kiss the nape of his neck before drifting off himself, lids heavy and body sinking into the feather soft mattress.

~~~

    Phil was stirred awake suddenly by Dan. He sat up in bed next to Phil, arm reaching down to shake Phil's shoulder. Phil blinked awake. His eyes stung and though the allergy pill helped earlier, he felt another runny nose starting. Sniffling and pushing himself up to lean against the headboard, he rubbed his sleep ridden eyes. Dan grasped his arm,

    “Phil? Phil are you up?”

Phil shook his head,

    “No definitely not,” he grumbled.

Dan rolled his eyes,

    “Did you hear something?”

Dan's chestnut eyes were alight with a sudden awareness, searching and then staring at Phil. Phil raised his head to stare back, watching gold flecks in Dan's eyes flash from fear or curiosity; he wasn't certain.

    “What? No I don't hear any-” _scratch scratch_ An unsettling noise sounded from the right side of the room and Phil was finally brought out of his groggy state. It scraped against the wall, or was it the window? A short, abrasive scratching was the only sound in the room aside from Dan's whisper,

    “What the _hell_ is that?”

Just then it hit Phil. _Shit shit shit_ _he wasn't supposed to find out_. He glanced to the closet door, still slightly ajar, but no sign of life had peeked out. Yet. He decided to fib just once more; he would take care of his little “problem” if he could just distract Dan for a while longer.

    “Maybe something brushed against the window?” Phil swallowed hard, “a tree branch maybe?”

Dan observed the room, eyes squinting as he looked for the source.

    “It could be- wait- Phil there isn't a tree next to the window?” Dan looked over to an increasingly anxious Phil, pale as ever and desperately trying to keep his cool.

Phil swallowed again, heart attempting to move out of his chest, ribcage riddled with panic. Dan would be mad, and then what would he do? He was already so attached; he couldn't just let her go now.

    His thoughts ended abruptly as a second noise echoed into the bedroom.

_meow_

Dan cocked his head, eyebrows raised in confusion.

_Oh god oh shit_

There was no going back now. Phil couldn't possibly make an excuse for this kind of sound. Phil suddenly felt burning in the side of his face as Dan turned to stare at him.

    “Phiiil,” Dan drew out in a low accusatory tone, “ _what_ the fuck was that?”

Sweat started gathering at Phil's palms, clammy and grasping at each other, desperate to find a new excuse. What else sounded like a meow? Um maybe a-

    “ _Phil_ ,” Dan lowered his voice for a second time, “ _what did you do_?”

Phil's mouth opened to spur another excuse, incredulous at how Dan would so easily assume that he had done something wrong. Well, he _had_ done something but there was no harm done, right? Well, okay, there was mostly no harm done besides Phil's rampant allergies.

    “I didn't- wha- _what_ \- _what do mean_ what did I do?!” Phil's voice raised to a near squeak and his arms waved around as he stuttered.

     _meow_

Phil looked at Dan, finding he was giving him _that look_ . The look that said _I know you did something, you dork, and you're bad at lying._ He didn't need any more words. Over the years they had both memorized the light in each other's eyes, the eyebrow raises, the smirks, and each line of each other's faces. A look was enough to communicate what they needed to say.

    “It wasn't my fault!” Phil's shoulders shrunk up and his arms waved wide again.

Dan rolled his eyes once again.

    “Okay so _maybe_ you _could_ say that it was my fault but not really because I was just too weak to say no and I-”

    “ _Phil_ .” He received that look again. _Get on with it_.

    Phil bashfully glanced down and took a deep breathe in,

    “I was walking home and I looked in one of those alleyways and there she was and she was so cute and lonely and hungry and I had to do something Dan I mean I couldn't just leave her and she gave me a look and you know I don't have an iron will and so I put her in my jacket and brought her home.” The words all spilled out in one breath. Phil held in the air in his lungs, chest aching to let it out, anticipating Dan's response.

    Dan shook his head slowly,

     “Phil, uuh, who is..who is _she_?”

But just as the question left his lips, Dan felt a warm weight on his ankle where it hung off of the bed, silky fur running against his skin.

    “ _Oh_ um...Phil, I think- I- I think I figured it out.”

He looked down to see a calico kitten, strolling next to his foot and rubbing her side on his ankle. Dan's eyes widened, not surprised that Phil would want to bring her home, but surprised that he actually had. And who could blame him? She was the most adorable kitten he had possibly ever seen. But then he had another thought.

    “You brought a pet home without asking me?” He raised his voice. “Phil,” he whined, “you're super allergic! And we couldn't even keep her here! What were you thinking?!”

Phil's cheeks flushed a little, knowing he was at fault and embarrassed that he had tried to hide it from Dan in the first place.

    “I- I just- just I thought that if- if- we could- I thought maybe,” he knew he was stuttering too much but knowing Dan was upset at him, he couldn't get the words out. He had no excuse. None that would make this any better.

    Dan looked into Phil's earnest expression, then looked down again at the kitten. She was rolling on her back now, pawing at the air. Dan's face softened at the sight of the baby pink toe pads. Fucking hell. That level of cuteness should be illegal. Dan took in a deep sigh.

    “You're gonna have to take allergy medicine every day.”

Phil continued staring into his lap.

    “I know,” he answered, head hung and voice almost forlorn, “I shouldn't have brought her here but- wait- what are you saying?”

Dan smiled, warm and inviting.

    “Listen, between this adorable face and your adorable face, I can't say no.”

Phil's eyes lit up as he leaned forward and left excited pats on Dan's forearm.

    “Dan, really?” Phil was practically bouncing.

Dan leaned in to place a kiss on Phil's cheek,

    “Yes, Phil.” And his dimples returned, digging into his smiling cheeks.

Phil leaned into Dan's side, watching the calico roll around on the carpet and he giggled. They could actually have a pet now. To play with and cuddle. Not that he couldn't cuddle with Dan but there was nothing like having a warm kitten on your lap.

    Dan eventually got out of bed to kneel down next to the playful cat. He gently picked her up and cradled her in his arms.

    “Hello there!” Dan fluffed the fur on her head with his nose, smile growing even wider.

    Phil was relieved that Dan wasn't actually mad at him, and he couldn't wait to see what was in store for them. Then Dan looked up at Phil, curious look on his face.

    “So, what are we going to call her?”

Phil smiled mischievously,

    “I was thinking Susan 4.”

    “ _Phiiil,”_ Dan whined.

But they both glanced at each other and erupted in giggles, happy to be there together. They now had a family. It was small, but as Phil looked down admiring Dan cuddling their new kitten, he could only think to himself: at least it was a start.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed :)  
> Check out [my main blog](https://hilariousandunappreciated.tumblr.com/) and [my dnp blog](https://danandphilwhomst.tumblr.com/) <3


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